Once, when I was a little girl, I watched a movie for the first time. It featured a ginger heroine, a Jamaican crab, and made one really believe that it would be better to live "under the sea." That movie was The Little Mermaid. Maybe you've heard of it? Once, when I was watching that movie, I noticed something. Something that intrigued me, that flipped a light switch in a dark wrinkle of my mind to "ON", that made me think, "BABOOM BABOOM." Ursula. More specifically, Ursula's derrier, like two basketballs fighting under a silken black blanket. I would have never thought that at the tender age of somewhere under ten, I would find myself mildly attracted to a sea witch. Much less one who, from the neck up, was definitely a cartoon representation of my Grandma. Believe I was more disgusted with myself than you are. But I exaggerate, and I digress. Still, I watch ladies leaving, and I think a myriad of thoughts such as, "dang" or "ewwww" or "pincher" or "bootay!" but never, "BABOOM BABOOM." No behind since has so nicely mimicked the perfect quaking roundness of two planets merging in a jiggling cosmic dance. The sashay of two orbital pendulums vying to keep meter. Maybe it was a fat ass, but when Ursula slithered around on her octet of tentacles, rotund rump rumbling in the process, something happened. History changed. I became an ass girl.

Ernest Hemingway once said, "write drunk, edit sober." And while this sounds like a fun, albeit physically taxing and hard on the wallet, way of getting the creative juices flowing, we see how things turned out for him. Sometimes I consider common expressions, such as "getting the creative juices flowing," and I think that at one point, that was original. But here I am, the 17 billionth person to say it for the googolplexianth time. There must be another way. How about, I drink to light the imagination fuse. Or, music really undams my creative river. Or, let's get think tumbleweed a-rolling. I guess things become common for a reason. These things aren't easy to come up with. Especially at the speed at which conversation occurs. So, about those creative juices...